Job Application

The Magic Hate Ball will see you now

Application Form

All fields reviewed by the Magic Hate Ball. Responses are final and hostile.

Magic Hate Ball

Head of HR

STANDBY

Awaiting applicant input...

DERP INC. — CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE

Error Code: HR-8BALL-RAGE-OVERFLOW
Module: Human_Resources_v1.exe
Status: DIMENSION INTEGRITY COMPROMISED

The HR module has exceeded maximum hostility parameters. Dimensional containment field destabilized.

Initiating emergency protocol: RESETTING DIMENSION 4...

0%

Please do not exist until this process is complete.

Definitely Real Products Inc.™
A Division of Plausible Industries | Est. 1997 | Delaware, USA (probably)
"Making things you didn't know you didn't need"

Definitely Real Products Inc. is a registered trademark of itself. All products are "real" in the sense that they exist on this website. DeRP Inc. is not responsible for any existential crises, impulse purchases, or sudden urges to adopt a carpet that may result from viewing this catalog. No actual products were harmed in the making of this website. Our legal team consists of one (1) very tired intern. All rights reserved, some rights made up, a few rights borrowed from a friend. By reading this disclaimer you agree to nothing, which is exactly what we offer. © 1997–2026.

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