DeRP Inc. Corporate Headquarters

Definitely Real Products Inc.

Making things you didn't know you didn't need since 1997

*** NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR VICE PRESIDENT OF VIBES *** ALL PRODUCTS COME WITH A 30-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE (TERMS: WE KEEP THE MONEY, YOU KEEP THE PRODUCT) *** VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO EXIST" BY THE BETTER BUSINESS-ISH BUREAU 2024 *** FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $10,000 ***
CARPETS

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CARPETS

Pets for your car. Now in 3 breeds.

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The Tragic 8 Ball

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The Tragic 8 Ball

Ask it anything. Regret everything.

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The Magic Hate Ball

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The Magic Hate Ball

It has opinions. All hostile.

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Hay Eye Companions

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Hay Eye Companions

The original smart speaker.

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Soup of the Night

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Soup of the Night

When regular soup just isn't enough.

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Stranger's Things

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Stranger's Things

Turned Upside Down. Lifted From Pockets.

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Pillow Fridge

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Pillow Fridge

Sleep Cool™

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Grocery Gnomes

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Grocery Gnomes

Professional grocery chaos agents.

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Mosquito Teleportation Device

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Mosquito Teleportation Device

Never get swatted again.

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Welcome to DeRP Inc.

Delaware's most persistently operational company. Since 1997, we've been pioneering products that raise more questions than they answer—from sentient floor coverings to interdimensional pest control. We don't just think outside the box. We're not entirely sure where the box is.

Explore our story, meet the team, or browse the full catalog of things you didn't know you didn't need.

10+

Products

???

Employees

4–7

Dimensions

~3

Recalls (This Quarter)

Products

Browse the full catalog of things you didn't know you didn't need.

About Us

Our mission, values, and whatever else we could think of.

Leadership

Meet the minds behind the madness. One of them is a Sasquatch.

Careers

Open positions in carpets, gnome logistics, and interdimensional customs.

Investors

Financial performance, growth metrics, and creative accounting.

Contact

We may or may not respond. But we appreciate the effort.
Definitely Real Products Inc.™
A Division of Plausible Industries | Est. 1997 | Delaware, USA (probably)
"Making things you didn't know you didn't need"

Definitely Real Products Inc. is a registered trademark of itself. All products are "real" in the sense that they exist on this website. DeRP Inc. is not responsible for any existential crises, impulse purchases, or sudden urges to adopt a carpet that may result from viewing this catalog. No actual products were harmed in the making of this website. Our legal team consists of one (1) very tired intern. All rights reserved, some rights made up, a few rights borrowed from a friend. By reading this disclaimer you agree to nothing, which is exactly what we offer. © 1997–2026.

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